New Chapters

Dearest Raya,

Your daddy and I will be experiencing big changes soon. A new environment, a new life, new people to be with. I know that you and God will always guide us no matter what happens, and because of that, I feel at peace.

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Wherever your dad goes, I’ll go too, because that’s what we promised you, my love. You were sent to us by God for a reason, and maybe this is part of His plan. ☺️😘

I don’t think we’ll be able to have kids anymore because everything medical-related is so expensive, so I’m truly grateful that I got to experience being a mom with you. You made me a mother, and that will always be one of my greatest blessings. 🤰🏼

Raya, you know your daddy and I aren’t gifted financially. We were supported by your lolo and lola, and even our work came from them. We are beyond grateful for everything they’ve done for us. 🫶🏾

And still, I feel blessed, Raya.

Because on the night I felt like giving up, your ninangs and ninong called. They stayed with me until I fell asleep, until the harmful thoughts faded. Maybe that was God’s way of protecting me… and maybe you were part of that protection too. Maybe it’s you whispering, “Mommy needs someone tonight”. 👼🏼🥺

Judgments from other people will always be there, but with God’s help, they will mean nothing. And with you, an angel sent by God, I know your dad and I will be fine. We’ll leave everything in God’s hands. 🤲🏽

These heartbreaks, my love, will make us stronger and deepen our faith. I’m scared, but I’m also excited for this new chapter, because I know God is with us — and you are there, watching us from above the clouds. ☁️👼🏼

Earlier, I dreamt of a child. I’m not sure if it was you because I only saw tiny feet wiggling. But if it was you, my love, thank you for visiting me in my dreams and reminding me that everything will be okay.

My Raya, whenever I am in pain, please visit me in my dreams and comfort me. It is the closest thing I have to holding you again.

I love you always and forever,

Mommy 💗