Serenaded by Angels

My Dearest Raya,

Today, I was invited by your big sister to attend a mass. She’s the choir leader, and she wanted us to be there. It was a First Holy Communion mass.

When we left home it wasn’t raining, but the moment we arrived at the church, the rain began to pour. And when the mass started, it rained even harder… almost like heaven opened its doors for us.

While the choir was practicing their songs, I started to cry, Raya.

Their voices sounded so angelic. So pure. So comforting. It felt like I was being serenaded by angels — and maybe you were one of them. 🥹

When I saw the children receiving their First Holy Communion, I didn’t feel anything at first. But when the kids began reading, and especially when the psalm was sung by two little girls, something inside me broke. Their voices were so soft and heavenly.

I closed my eyes, and for a moment, I imagined…

Is this what your voice would have sounded like, Raya?”

It felt like you were whispering to me, “Mommy, this is how I sound.”

All throughout the mass, Mommy’s chest hurt. The grief felt heavy today. I wanted you to grow up close to God. I wanted you to serve in the church. I wanted to see you sing, pray, smile, and be surrounded by faith.

Watching other children today brought both pain and joy to my heart. Pain because I wanted those moments with you. Joy because it felt like you brought me there — to remind me that I’m surrounded by angels.

Maybe that’s why it rained, my love. Maybe heaven was closer today.

Inside the church, I felt a quiet peace. A gentle warmth. I felt loved.

Thank you, Raya, for showing me that you are always with me, guiding me, comforting me in the most unexpected ways.

Mommy misses you every day, my angel. Please keep sending your angels to me, so I never forget that I am not alone.

I love you always and forever,

Mommy 💗☁️