One Month Without You

Dearest Raya,

Today marks one month without you, my love.

One month of not holding you in my arms. It still feels unreal. There are moments when I choose to believe I didn’t give birth to you at all, because the truth hurts more than my heart can carry.

But even in this pain, I still feel God with me.

He knows how much I love you, Raya.

He knows how much I sacrificed, how every day of my pregnancy was a prayer just so you could live a little longer inside me.

Please know, my love, that everything that happened — and my relationship with God — is something only He and I truly understand. And the fact that this pain, no matter how heavy, doesn’t break me completely… it means God is holding me through all of this.

Raya, thank you for your healing energy.

Even when you’re no longer here physically, you continue to take care of Mommy. I feel your softness in moments of peace, your warmth when I pray, your strength when I want to give up.

My love, please be our light when life feels dark.

Be our strength when everything becomes blurry.

Be our joy when the days feel heavy and hard.

Continue to guide Mommy and Daddy.

Rayatot, we miss you every single day.

And when you can, my baby please visit me in my dreams because it’s the closest thing I have to holding you again.

I love you always and forever,

Mommy 💗☁️